the lake

i can usually be found at the lonestar lake whenever my days off roll around. snug inbetween some hills and plenty of looming oaks, the lake is big enough to float out into the middle, while gently keeping afloat with a kick, but small enough to where it's not intimidating, no speeding boats to wreck your peace of mind. on monday i went out to the lake with a friend and her black lab.

back in colorado, on my days off you would find me hiking or running up cedar mountain. after i'd make it to the top i'd plop down on a rock and look out over the yampa valley, able to see steamboat springs in the distance, craig immediately below me, looking much larger than or much smaller, depending on my mood of the day. going up in elevation always seems like an accomplishment, thinner air, better view, fewer people. no people at all, just depleted oxygen and a view that would take your breath away if it wasn't already gone from the jog.

but i guess that's the problem, the thing is, there weren't too many days off back there. there was a lot of work to be done and few people to do it. we had a job to do. put out the paper, gather the information and publish. maybe the time off was there, but i was too obsessed with the quality of my work to see it. from my experience small publications tend to be like that. i now realize how much i miss those mountains, and wonder if i could have readjusted my work to stay there, feel comfortable with what i was doing, and still enjoy my surroundings. the people i was with. was i too anxious to climb the ladder of success? how important is that?

that brings me to the question, what's right? i guess we all struggle with that.