Friday, May 9, 2008

soldiers i know

I stood in the tiled bathroom, looking at the prosthetic limbs. Matt was
using the toilet in the stall. Another soldier, James, waited with me, and
we talked.
Out of curiosity I asked if it hurt.
Maybe it was a stupid question, but what really do you ask someone who
had both of his legs and his left arm blown off in an IED. Part of me imagined
it would hurt, but then you think about all those movies and think, isn't
shock supposed to kick in?
We were riding along, like any other day, he began to tell me. Cracking jokes,
making fun of one another. Typical bored 26-year-old behavior.
Then the explosion hits.
He looks down, sees body parts, some fingers. He picks them up. They obviously
belong to someone else on his team, he thinks. He needs to keep them safe.
He tries to get up but falls to the humvee floor.
Tries to get up again but nothing works.
Climbing out of the humvee, with one arm he crawls about 30 yards. It was still
rolling when he fell out.
He's losing a lot of blood.
It squirts from his legs with the rhythm of his heart beat.
He realizes this, says a little prayer, and focuses on calming down. If his heart
beats slower, he'll lose less blood. This means he'll live longer.
Later, the medics tell him he lost a gallon of it.
When they were sawing off what remained of his three useless limbs, there
was no pain killer. Nothing to relax him.
About this time, he tells me, it was hurting.
I got more than I asked for when I asked him this. But once in awhile you meet
someone so open about his life, something as traumatic as this, and everything
is still fair game. Brutally honest, no hesitation. And still the same or more
poignant sense of humor along the way.

He put on his legs and walked out into the lobby. Matt was accepting an award
on behalf of Senator Dole. He could have just allowed me to photograph him
outside, in the reception with everyone else. But instead he let me in to the
bathroom, I can't shake what he told me.

He made me think of Cody, my best friend's little brother. You know, Cody,
four years the younger, never quite old enough to hang out with us in high
school but always game for a good pummeling when we're sitting around the house.
I thought of Cody over there in Baghdad.
A few days later I would learn Cody is alright. He's back on leave actually.
But the rest of his unit, they're not so good. While Cody was on leave their
humvee was hit by an IED. Most died.

I just don't get the whole war. Matt graduated from high school in 2001 for
Christ's sake. So did I. His buddy, James, the soldier who now travels with
Matt and helps him, he's not even 21. He tells me his birthday is coming up,
and it'll be nice because he can finally buy beer. Hey, go to Baghdad, get
shot at, but don't come home on leave and drink a beer. You're only 20, kid.

And now my best friend, Skyler, he's deploying in November.


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